Our pain can engage our thoughts pulling us to darkness or our pain can be our opportunity to conduct amazing light into the world

Shall we understand that when we are engaged in a dilemma, we are encountering a fundamental choice in outlook?

That fundamental choice is to comprehend that what is attempting to engage us is seeking to draw our life force into the darkness and chaos of the world. How is it possible that our life force could be so vulnerable to being dissipated into the darkness?

The design of the world is exactly that. Hashem gives us a physical existence and our intellect forms between ages zero and two before there is any capacity to build into it that Hashem is doing everything and that all there is in the world is Hashem. Imagine. Our initial experience of the world simply cannot have that crucially important building block.

Thus, the divine soul, the breath of Hashem, that is our life force becomes a “prisoner” of whatever faulty beliefs and values develop early in life. What is more important to know is that the beliefs and values that develop early in life are experientially based, meaning on how it feels to us in terms of pleasure and pain.

Why is that important?

Hashem DOES give from birth a building block for naturally attaching to pleasure. In the highest part of our soul, we have both will and pleasure and these play a huge role in generating our motivations and choices. Likewise, Hashem gives us frmo birth the natural innate subconscious messaging of jealousy, urges, lusts, desires, and craving for honor. How do these messages come to us?

When we ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, we lost consciousness of Hashem is doing everything and that He is the Creator and that He fills and sustains all. The flow of divine blessing flows either to Adom or to the forces of darkness, nature, chaos, depending on our level of divine consciousness and our perseverance to cling tightly to Hashem is doing everything and is all there is.

Like seductresses, jealousy, taiva and gaiva lurk in our subconscious and provide messages as first responders to every situation – what are we lacking, does that hurt our image, who is to blame, how can I protect myself, I have a right to….and we become engaged in the promise of pleasure that the deficiencies of the world are willing to kick back to us for their ability to engage our thoughts and thereby draw forth from our souls kedusha that otherwise might be used to flow compassion into the world.

Taiva messages are deficiencies in our understanding of Hashem’s constant love even when it appears that we are lacking something we need. The way to approach such “pit” messages is to generate sincere love that we shower upon the confusing message that we are lacking something. Hashem is concealed in that lack, especially if it is a huge lack. the greater the lack, the more potential light and love that is concealed could be revealed. How? Emunah. Bitachon. Love for Hashem. And compassion that Hashem is wilingly concealed there in order to give us real free will and sincerely wanting that He not have to be limited by our intellect that is attached to beliefs and values that formed when we were very young.

Gaiva messages are deficiencies in our understanding of the best way to direct the power of the animal soul when we feel a lack. Too often that power is demonstrated as anger, hatred, fear, anxiety, panic, harsh judgments, and destructive actions such as we learn from studying the damages that an ox owner is responsible for – chewing/biting – lashon hara, kicking with a hoof -trampling, or goring with its horn anyone who it appears is the adversary. We have only one adversary and it is the yetzer hara, who is seeking access to drain our soul by promising us ego pleasures. In a world of material and physical standards, we settle for this and our divine soul has no choice but to go along, which it does not want to do.

Kavod messages are deficiencies in our understanding of whose glory and honor we are here to promote. While respect is an inherent and universal craving, the feeling of ourselves that results in its pursuit feeds our soul to the darkness.

If we recognize intellectually these messages from our subconscious at work, and we see how they are universal to every person, does that tip us off that there is an opportunity to NOT have our life force drained into the darkness? Let’s see the culprits as hiding places of incredible light that we can, instead, sniff out as potential compassion seeking to come into the world. The culprits are Divinely created masks that He makes so that a world can appear. The culprits are NOT us. The light animating the culprits is potentially part of our eternal identity, light our soul is designed to become credited with when we use real free will to bring it into the world through mitzvahs (even though Hashem is doing everything.)

Introspect on this. Find the will to strengthen emunah and refuse to fall for the temporal pleasures the culprits are constantly escorting us towards, ready to pay with gratifications, ego strokes, feelings of being right, satisfaction of revenge and more. There are no solutions within chaos to really heal what is happening when the culprits pull us into the seething waters. If we look only to chaos for solutions, we are engaged and falling into the darkness.

Nevertheless, these culprits are our constant companions and best advisors. Even if we move towards emunah, they immediately counter our efforts with subconscious messages about ourselves or others or the pursuit of happiness or fairness that our understanding naturally finds hard to let go of.

And we may deny it, but we find ourselves sinking.

Only Hashem can save us from the clutches of these culprits for they are His. He is animating them. However, we have the real free will to recognize what is happening and shower compassion upon the shechina that is in the putrid message in order to give us that ability to choose. When we comprehend that in every negative moment, the real task is to have compassion on Hashem concealed in a culprit so that we may deplete the light concealed, our whole attitude changes.

Our consciousness is our holy of holies. If we even think a thought of what the culprits’ messages tempt us, our soul has bonded with the message. Instead, recognize the quality as water, fire or wind and realize the immense opportunity to separate the light from the message and bring the sweetness of His light into the world through avodas Hashem.

These concepts are very helpful in dissecting in hisbodedus the difference between our essence as ambassadors of Hashem and where we are being drawn to the darkness. Without a roadmap of the culprits, how else can we be conscious of the look and feel they generate?

How happy we can be when we truly know that those rotten messages that bother us are really not who we are but the outcome of bonding with messages that put a needle into our arm to drain our soul into chaos. We do not have to let that happen. Hashem alone saves us from this when we shower compassion upon His light trapped in those messages and cry out for mercy so that we may be the channel to bring His Light into the world through the repair, Torah.

And this heals our heart.

May these ideas reach more and more deeply into our hearts so that we are able to mature our intellect and comprehend our existence as a soul in a body here to channel Hashem’s light into the world through the performace of mitzvahs, the learning of Torah, the acts of chesed and our prayers.

And may our animal souls become “addicted” to the pleasure of the healing when it lets go of the messages because it “sniffs” the great joy and simcha of being the powerful channel to serve Him.

And may we see a new light in the world very soon.

Here is the Fixing your Middos series from the Bilvavi, a great place to begin to familiarize ourselves with the messages of deficiencies in water, wind, fire and earth and how to work with ourselves.

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